Aphasia: Hunting for that word

Writing with aphasia
Is like reading a book
With words blurred out
Here and there
I hunt and hunt for the perfect word
But sometimes I never find the one
I’m looking for
I leave … (space) … to come back to fill later
But sometimes I just … can’t find … that word
It’s lost in the darkness
Rattling around at the bottom of the well
That is my subconscious
I wish all of my lost words
Would return to me
I’ve been hunting for them for
Over a decade
But for now
I shake my head;
Left and right
Left and right
And hope the perfect word
Falls out of my ear
Onto paper

What is Aphasia?

Aphasia is a communication disorder affecting your ability to comprehend or express/formulate language. You may have difficulties speaking, and/or comprehending speech, reading, and writing. It impacts spoken and written language. It could affect just a single aspect of language use, or multiple.

Aphasia affects around 2 million Americans, and is caused by brain injury/brain damage to specific region(s) in the brain, possibly by head injury, stroke, or brain tumor.　

While there are 2 major types of aphasia that are widely known (Broca’s and Wernicke), there are actually many different types

You can learn more about the different types here.

Learn more about Aphasia

• Mayo Clinic
• National Aphasia Association
• WebMD

What does it have to do with Hiroko?

I suffered Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) when I was 22 from brain surgery to remove vascular tumors from my brain. Combined with my Executive Function Disorder, was extremely difficult for me to read or write, and to formulate my thoughts coherently in ways I was used to.

It took years before I was able to read books again, and still more years for me to be comfortable writing again. Over a decade in, I still struggle to retrieve some words, and my writing is not as fluid as it used to be. But I’ve accepted this new-ish me as the new me, and have been reading, writing, and putting my thoughts into words in hopes that in the future, I’ll be able to fulfill my dream of writing a fiction novel.

In 2022, I published my first traditionally published book. Publishing a technical book is great, but I hope next one will be fiction!