Spending long periods of time with people exhausts me, but being alone (especially in a new situation) also scares me. I’m an introvert with sprinkles of extroversion (where I crave connection, but get exhausted by connection at the same time). This year, despite the social anxiety, I decided to challenge myself and attend AWS re:Invent.
Since leaving my corporate job in 2019, the only people I regularly talk to in real life are basically my husband and my kids (both toddlers). Outside of that, I chat with my personal trainer at the gym twice a week. A while ago, I decided that I might be getting a little too isolated, so I began volunteering at the local food pantry half a year ago.
I’m someone who is extremely anxious about stepping into unfamiliar environments. But given it’s been five years since I became an AWS Hero, COVID has mostly settled down, and my kids are finally out of their infant stages, I decided that this is my “restart year.”
If you or someone you know struggles with sensory processing sensitivity or has social anxiety, I hope this post can resonate.
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Looking Back on AWS re:Invent as an introvert
If you hate crowds and struggle with sensory overload… well, this is very clearly not an event designed us. But since it’s held at the same venue every year, there’s not much I could do about it.
Here are some things I noticed/thought about throughout the week:
- If you’re sensitive to sound, I highly recommend the noise-canceling earplugs that have been trending lately (I use the Loop Switch 2). For the first two days, I felt dizzy just walking through the casino without them.
- For some reason, loud music was playing everywhere, and things were constantly flashing. Even though I was indoors the whole time, I regretted not bringing sunglasses. If I still had seizure disorder, I’d have been pretty anxious about that.
- There is a volunteer area at the back of the Expo Hall, and I highly recommend spending some time there. There are very few people, it’s quiet, and you can just focus on simple repetitive tasks, emptying your mind. Since you’re physically moving, it helps to avoid spiraling into thoughts like, Why did I even come all this way and leave my kids at home? Was this even worth it…? Empty your mind, have something to do with your hands, and do good for the community. Win win win!
- Depending on which communities you belong to, there may be lounge spaces or restaurants reserved as rest areas. The AWS Community Lounge and the Mongo Emerald Lounge were absolute lifesavers for me; quiet environments, hydration, caffeine, and food. Not to mention, I can always count on seeing a familiar face no matter when I dropped by, which helped to shrink down the 50,000+ attendee event to a manageable bubble.
- If you start feeling worn out during the day, go back to your hotel, soak in the bathtub, and prepare for the evening. If you’re lucky enough to stay at the Venetian, definitely aim for the North Tower.
- Don’t push yourself too hard in the evening. Listen to your body (and brain). Head back to your hotel early, snack a little, take another bath, and chill. Save your energy for the next day.
- You can grab snacks, light meals, and drinks at the Walgreens under the Venetian. The sandwiches are really bad. Don’t buy them.
- Don’t pack your schedule for the week just because being alone scares you. Leave space in your calendar and go with the flow. You might get invited to something interesting, and you’d be glad you had a fluid schedule!
- Free yourself from the pressure of “I came all this way, so I HAVE to do X.” Even if you don’t attend that specific event, hundreds of others will. Chances are, it’s even being livestreamed worldwide.
- Also free yourself from stressing out that “I have to create content every single day like everyone else.” If something sparks an idea, jot it down. If you have time, work on it. If not, you can always create after you get home.
While chatting in the Community Lounge with someone else who also has sensory processing sensitivity, we joked that if we ever got rich, we’d rent out a restaurant at re:Invent and turn it into a low-sensory room, complete with floor cushions, dim lighting, classical music, light snacks, and water.
That’s how overwhelming and overstimulating AWS re:Invent can be. You get tipsy on everyone’s endless energy. Not in a bad way though.
Your small acts of kindness can be a lifeline
If a colleague or friend at the event looks like they’re barely keeping their head above water, or if they seem overwhelmed at their first huge conference, here are a few small things that might really help. These are all things my friends did for me at re:Invent, and I really appreciated the kindness.
- Check in occasionally with a simple, “How are you doing?”
- Invite them along to open events
- When moving between venues (even for short distances) ask, “Want to go together?”
- Help guide them to the venue or badge pickup area on the first day (or Day 0)
- Introduce them to someone they might click with
I was completely exhausted, but I got to meet and chat with people wanted to see for a long time, and vampired a bit on their infectious energies. I’m glad I went.
With an event this massive, all different kinds of people attend. But 10+ years on, it’s still not an event designed with people who are sensitive to light, sound, or crowds in mind. Maybe it’s not realistic to hope for small accommodations, but I hope that as the years go by, there will be more low-stimulation events and activities available, and no smoke/flashing lights on the hallway leading into the main expo area (really, why?).
This post was originally written in Japanese and posted on my Note.